she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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