considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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