it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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