My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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