there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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