I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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