just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
