thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize