He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
