we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
