u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
