i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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