Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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