roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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