Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
