Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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