Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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