WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
