There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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