My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
