That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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