I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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