I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
