Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Two words: blizzard sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize