sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize