At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
