I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
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