I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I feel like abortions should bother me more
then he tried to convert me to islam
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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