To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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