Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
