i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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