Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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