haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
