you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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