I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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