The best revenge is premature balding
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
