did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
third nipple confirmed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
