my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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