We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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