just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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