so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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