how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
