Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i believe in u and ur pee
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
