she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
