K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
