I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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