WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
