we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
