i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
