We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
