Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
