Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
