She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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