she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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