Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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