i dont even know how to be here
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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