meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Randomize
