we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I AM VODKA MAN
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
