Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
