You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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