its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
