So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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