Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
