She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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