jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize