therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
