Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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