i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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