Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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